Reg Grundies

"Reg Grundies" is rhyming slang for Undies. Ah... the ubiquitous underwear... panties, knickers, jocks, boxers, g-strings.. whatever you might like to call them. Notice I didn't write thongs? They are worn on the feet! unless you are in the UK or maybe the US whereby they are known as Flip-Flops. "A rose by any other name would smell as sweet." Called flip-flops for the sound they make; now there is a dangerous precedent: my arse would be called a pftheeerrt!

But the "Undie" by whatever name you call it, like the picture, has gone through some spectacular changes, but it strikes me that it goes through a cycle. It starts as nappies and as the child gets better trained, there are those wet pants that absorb a bit of moisture in case of accident. After those it's into the tighty whiteys that cover everything up, the Y front. Initially called Y fronts because the two flaps of cloth to make the flap to get to your Pee-nis, is sown in the shape of a Y. As you grow the Y becomes a WHY as you ask yourself which idiot designed these each time your willie gets strangled half in-half out of the silly hole in the front! How uncomfortable are they? Of course, if you're a woman, that's never an issue (we hope!)

Somewhere here in the middle comes the change to either boxers or sports briefs. They ARE sporty, sexy, new age, they make you feel older, more mature. When you meet someone, then comes the G-string. It's smart, it's sexy, worn by both sexes to impress, or to be worn because of fashion despite the string back clawing its way into your butt cleavage and rubbing against your butt hole!. (Don't you just hate a VPL?)

The final step is the "commando"stage where you are so set to impress that you leave them off altogether!! Or is it the final step?

When you get a little older, or settled in your relationship, or get just plain sick of the G string rubbing against your anus, you go back to the sports brief. They are a little bigger, they hold all the extra flesh that has suddenly appeared around your butt, and they cover everything up. And as the butt gets bigger, so do the undies to stop unsightly bulges and uncontrolled wobbling flesh that might upset the balance. Older still and after a few kids, or your weak stomach muscles, you find that when you sneeze or cough, there can sometimes be a little dribble where a dribble ought not to be, so you wear underpants with some absorbency in case of accidents. Finally, when you lose control over your bladder as you get really old, you're back to nappies!

Is this the true circle of life that I have heard so much about?

For guys, there is always that Briefs versus Boxers debate, where someone once said that tight briefs leads to testicular cancer. Perhaps this was a good fear/marketing campaign by the boxer shorts manufacturers to help sell their product. You hear all sorts of comments about tight and clingy versus loose and baggy, about cramped conditions versus flopping about unkempt. As a sportsman, uncontrolled movement can be painful. But you know what it boils down to in a lot of cases? It has very little to do with comfort, although that plays a part, but regardless of what a guy has been wearing, he will end up wearing what his partner wants/likes him to wear!!!!

Yes.. sorry guys, we are lead around by our dicks.

I could wax lyrical here for ages about another type of underwear... lingerie. Suffice to say that as visual beings, guys enjoy their women wearing it. A tip for the girls though; stop worrying about a few pounds here and there. Don't stress about a bit of cellulite, or a little roll, and don't fuss about love handles, your guy wont see them. He sees you all the time and when you look with love, you see with love, and he will be so damn happy that you have on a teddy with stockings and high heels that he wont see or care about any of the things that you have worried about that have prevented you from wearing the stuff in the first place. Real women have real bodies, not airbrushed ones, so celebrate what makes you a woman. Confucious is dubiously quoted as saying... "... man who sinks into woman's arms, usually end up with arms in woman's sink..." so don't worry, many guys like to sink into a woman's arms and the softness of her skin.

My only lament is the "fun" market for underwear. There seems a lot more stuff available for women than men. I used to have a couple of pairs of sports briefs that had "For Formal Balls Only"and "Lucky Dip" under a zipper, but apart from elephant style undies that encompass your dick like the Amazing Randy, there isn't a lot of other things on the market unless you are into "specialty" clothing made from leather. Whereas, for a woman, there are all sorts of delightful, delectable, delicious (and other D words as well) clothes, costumes, outfits, under wear with holes in appropriate spots. Ah well, it is us guys after all that are the visual ones I suppose.

But still!