Oh Fishy Fishy Fishy Fish

Apologies to Monty Python for stealing a line from one of their shows for the title, but I just read a joke that came to me across the email, that went something like... "There are only two things in the world that smell like fish, and one of them is fish..." thus implying that the other is a woman's pussy. I suppose that gets back to stereotyping and generalisations like blind lesbians being lost in a fish market for hours (perhaps on purpose) and I would like to strike a blow and use my voice to change the world. Isn't that what these blogs are for?

Ok... so the change... PUSSIES DON'T SMELL OF FISH in their own right!!!! It's only what us guys leave behind that smells of fish!!!! Both male and female sex organs have self-cleaning processes long before it became au fait to have an oven that did the same. Now I am not admitting to having been a root-rat in my life time, but it's fair to say that I have had my hands (and other things...like my nose) on a few pussies in my life and apart from a bit of fusty-jock on a hot day (something that happens to both species), pussies prior to an injection of semen have a sensual muskiness that is nothing like any fish I have ever smelled. And without fail, the only time there has ever been any hint of fish smell is the morning after when the rotting man-seed has had a few hours to...whatever it does...breakdown? That is what gives the smell, the dieing fishy bits in the liquid you so thoughtfully left behind for her to deal with. If guys were to smell their own dicks in the morning they would get the same scent as what comes from within the woman.

This is where the self cleaning would take over if it wasn't for the invention of the shower or better still the bath to insert/submerge the offending parts to wash away the rotting man seed. OK I enjoy the jokes, especially about the reason woman was put on this earth...to carry sperm from the bedroom to the toilet, but it's a wonderful system and we need to know that it is us making it smell, not them!...

Now... the smell of her private parts is important to a woman... really important... it's a conditioning thing from years of missplaced jokes about it and its one of THE BIG 5.
THE BIG 5 are five subjects that a man should never broach with a woman. The Smelly bit is one of them, but after 30 + years of dealing with women, here is my legacy to mankind..

THE BIG 5.
Avoid these subjects while talking with a woman of any age and life will be less traumatic...
OK.. the other 4 are... drum roll..
OLD
FAT
UGLY
STUPID
add the fifth
SMELLY

Avoid these like the plague, don't be drawn into a conversation about them. Don't think that you can even raise these subjects. No matter how close to someone you are, no matter how much you think that you can talk to her about anything.. DON'T... YOU WILL LOSE...YOU WILL GET INTO TROUBLE... Hear me on this, I mean it.